Oh, Kim Basinger is a messy bitch who lives for the drama!ĥ7.
#MARCIA GAY HARDEN ANCENSORED PROFESSIONAL#
Props to Ana for keeping that professional chignon intact through spanking and missionary-style sex. This is the second time I feel like Ana and Christian have had sex where he’s pretty much kept his pants on. Christian’s childhood bedroom has lots of UFC posters on the walls. Putting a mask on Rita Ora and expecting the audience to still recognize her feels like some quality Who? Weekly trolling.ĥ3.
#MARCIA GAY HARDEN ANCENSORED MOVIE#
Hollywood Rule #753: Every movie about sexually adventurous people must have a masked ball (see: Eyes Wide Shut).ĥ2. OMG, Ana is wearing balls to the ball!Ĥ9. Between Fifty Shades Darker and The Handmaiden, Ben Wa balls are really having a moment.Ĥ8. Screaming at the arrival of Ben Wa balls.Ĥ7. Hold up, part two: Christian’s perfect chest is off-limits?Ĥ6. Hold up: Is this scene supposed to be serious?Ĥ4. Why is she drawing on him with lipstick?Ĥ2. Who doesn’t remember the first time their sexual partner compiled an FBI-quality dossier on them?Ĥ1. Mah gawd, Jamie Dornan got hella jacked for this movie.Ĥ0. Ana, I get you don’t want to be “owned,” but you could buy a Miata with that money.ģ7. This bish is really ripping up that check?ģ6. Which is probably why I don’t make $24,000 every 15 minutes.ģ5. I’d do the math, but it sounds exhausting.ģ4. “I didn’t have sex because of Jane Austen” is definitely one I haven’t heard before.ģ1. PSA: 20 minutes until the first sex scene.ģ0. Ew, I don’t care for Christian Grey in fluorescent supermarket lighting. I would watch more of that, for what it’s worth.Ģ8. Although.Christian and Ana’s boss had some nice sexual tension.Ģ7. Ooooh, girl, don’t bring Christian to work drinks with your boss who wants to fuck you.Ģ6. Is this what it was like to date Steve Jobs?Ģ4. LOL he bought her another Mac and another iPhone.Ģ3. “You were getting off on the pain you inflicted.” Yeah, Ana, we know. Anastasia asserting her independence with quinoa.Ģ1. How much time has passed between the first movie and this one? They’re acting like it’s been a while, but it couldn’t have been. Ooooh, yes, feeling Christian in this cable-knit sweater lewk.ġ9. Also, isn’t this dude the “friend” who tried to assault Ana in the first movie?ġ7. How do you go to your friend’s art show without knowing all his pictures are of you?ġ6.